CU2

Hello Wandering Soul, welcome to my profile. Please have patience when the pictures are loading...there are a lot. I also use this profile as a portfolio for my work as a model. My profile is in English, because I have friends all over the globe who don't speak Dutch.

This is me, picture by VampiX.

..." ...and she was born as Dhampiri for she drained her twin sister of her lifeforce, killed her in the mothers' womb and survived on her blood. The new priestess had arrived...and with her came a tiny crumpled and shriveled stillborn baby."

Scarifications and brandings: Scarification on Solar Plexus. Branding; I am planning for one. Have to design one first

Piercings, tattoos, scars, brandings

At this moment I'm doing research about piercings, tattoos, brandings, i.e. Bodymodification. I want to research if there is a link between Bodymodification and automutilation. Why do we like it so much? What is that tingly feeling we're having when "IT'S TIME!!!!" for a new bodymodification.

How many piercings I've got? 1 lippiercing, double nose-bridge, 1 under my lowerlip, 2 nipplepiercings (those were the my first piercings in 1991), 1 eartunnel, and 3 piercings 'down-there'. I've had a tonguepiercing, but I took it out after a year because it ruined my elongated real porcelain fangs. I have my personal piercer.

The Tattoo's? A Gelfling ("Dark Chrystal"), Dancing SM Vampyre with a whip,a pentagram, a Sigil of House Faberge. More tattoo's to follow? Oh Yes!!!! I want two Angelwings on my shoulderblades, Maoristyle tribals or Victorian style tribals, a Crystalbat (also from the Dark Crystal)All my tattoos are black ink, I don´t like coloured tattoos for myself.

And why do I do it? Well, I suffer from automutilation. I think the human being as it is now is very fragile, for example; bounce a baby from the staircase and you'll find splattered pulp downstairs. (pardon my French). The Human body sucks!!! I am not at all satisfied with my body, there's missing something...

I found the solution that works for me; every now and then I feel the urge again, a pulling....towards the Piercingparlor or the tattooartist. My piercings and tattoo's represent some important things that happened in my life. And...since I am really planning my next piercings and tattoos, I noticed I can controll my automutilation attacks better. I AM THE BOSS!!! It's my body, and if those bodymodification/manipulations keeps my automutilation away....well...That's cool! Even my Shrink said to me it IS indeed a method, and it works for me! Sometimes the pain in your psyche hurts so bad, you want to automutilate yourself. The only way back to the world is cutting yourself 'till you bleed and have nasty looking scars all over your arms. I.e. I replace the psychc pain by physical pain. Piercing and tatoos helps me to stop this. You first get a kick from adrenalin and afterwards you get a boost of endorfin. And I can be satisfied for months. Then it starts all over again. Lucky enough I have still some place left here and therish for some more piercings and tattoos. For me Bodymodification is an artform

Revlon

This pic I modelled for was used in a Revlon booklet.

Arall N'atrach...

Me again without my piercings this time

This pics were made at the second Elf Fantasy Fair where we Sluaghim-artists did our acts. Some of you may recognize this pic from the posters. Yep, it's me :)

Revlon

This pic I modelled for was used in a Revlon booklet.

>

Ballet!!!

The little blackhaired girl in the tutu is me when I was 10. That was my second year at the Royal Conservatory. This pic is taken during the rehearsals of Coppelia

And more Ballet! This one was for Tank t-shirts.

To the Fairies

All members of the Sluagh and Fay
I offer myself to you this day
For spiritual harvest and your work here below
So that I may flower and blossom and grow
And learn from myself and that up ahead
While working or playing or dreaming in bed
And in return there's nothing I ask
But that within your Magick my Spirit can bask

The Green Fairy

Falc

Alleen in het woud van het oude Vernemeton, staart een jongen naar de sterrenhemel. Een accoord op zijn harp laat de Sluiers tussen de Werelden trillen. Als echo's wijken zij en komen weer bijeen. Een glimp van geheimen wordt kort tentoongesteld; geheimen van de Ouden, bijna tastbaar. Het zware Grimoire, opengeslagen bij een spreuk, rust op de mossige bosgrond. En de jongen zingt en beroert zijn harp, hij laat de Sluiers wijken en slaat zijn vleugels uit. Een laatste accoord, en de noot vervaagt. De Sluiers van mist openen zich voor hem. En hij neemt het Pad naar de Schemerwereld....Onbevreesd daalt hij af.

The Morrigan

Moonchant

When the Moon rides on high
As she crosses the sky
And the stars on her gown trail behind
Then we Wiccans below
Are with energy all aglow
Just to see her so
Brightly enshrined

On the night of Full Moon
As we sing to the tune
Of the Lady, who watches above
We raise high our song
As she glides by so strong
And we bask in the light of her love

Birdy

Peter Murphy

Here you find some Bauhaus lyrics

Mask

the man of shadows thinks in clay
dreamed trapped thoughts of suffocation day
he's seen in iron environments
with plastic sweat out of chiselled slits for eyes

from the growth underneath the closed mouth
you'll catch if you listen
rack trapped cubist vowels
from a dummy head expression
from a dummy head expression

the transformation is invested
with the mysterious and the shameful
while the thing i am becomes something else
part character part sensation

the shadow is cast

Stigmata Martyr

In a crucifixation ecstasy
Lying cross chequed in agony
Stigmata bleed continuously
Holes in head, hands feet, and weep for me.

Stigmata oh you sordid sight
Stigmata in your splintered plight
Look to your crimson orifice
In holy rememberance
In scarlet bliss.

Stigmata Martyr!!!

Double dare

I dare you, to be real
To touch a flickering flame
The pangs of dark delight
Don't cower in night fright.

Don't back away just yet
From destinations set
I dare you to be proud
To dare to shout aloud
For convictions that you feel
Like sound from bells to peal
I dare you to speak of your despire
For bureaucracy, hypocracy--all liars

I dare
I dare -- You -- You

The band Bauhaus has always been very important for me. I am the proud owner of a complete Bauhaus collection; vinyl, bootlegs, videotapes, collectibles, c.d's. Their music helped me trough very painfull times....The band quit in 1984, I was 13 then, so I haven't seen them live during the Bauhaus years, but I was at their reunion concert few years ago in Belgium.

Embrace Emphasis

The Oath of the Gifted

I am the Darkness and Light
The shadow hunter
And Queen of the Moon
My claws hold the earth
My tongue tastes the Vitae
I am steadfast and strong
Compassionate and caring
I am Sanguinarean
And my words are pure

Aquascure

This pic was made during the performance from Lichel van den Ende.

Voodoo song

You are nothing but a puppet,
and I'm pulling the strings
You think you can fly with victory
but I will break your wings
Worthless, useless, nothing but a slave
is all you are forever
You are the puppet
And I pull the strings

Plein-Punk

This pic of me was taken in the summer, when I was relaxing on Het Plein in The Hague. The square is situated next to the Binnenhof (Parliament). In the middle of the square is a statue of Prince Willem van Oranje, and around it Punks, Goths, Skins, and neo-Hippies gather together without discriminating each other. We all respect each other and shared drinks and food and joints. It is an attractive place for tourists, and we really had fun with the Japanese tourists who always wanted to take pics of us all (as usual).

Alien

Here I am at the Waterpop festival. My hubby painted the Alien on the side of my head and lot of people thought it was a real tattoo.

Uhm....the photographer of Vampix and I were bored. So I ended up like a Nerd Girl!!!

I greet you, Powers of Air!
Clarify my thoughts;
Hold me to the Truth;
Awaken the Powers of Air within me
That I, with my thoughts,
Honor the Gods.

Energize my work;
Empower me to meet my challenges;
Awaken the Powers of Fire within me
That I, with my deeds,
Honor the Gods.

Nourish me with Universal Love;
Wash away my failings;
Awaken the Powers of Water within me
That I, with my feelings,
Honor the Gods.

Stabilize my life;
Strengthen me with the wisdom of the ages;
Awaken the Powers of Earth within me
That I, with my senses,
Honor the Gods.

Integrate my abilities;
Consecrate my service;
Awaken the Powers of Spirit within me
That I, with my life,
Honor the Gods.

Tom Hardy

Psychopath

You try to force me, in your direction
but I'm not the one who wants to play your game
I want to live, my own life
and I dont want you to be a part of it
You drive me crazy, with your orders
I just want to do whats best for me
I want to kill, all your sceptics
The time will come I'll show you my success

One day I'll raise my power
This is my revenge
I am your executer
Your life is in my hands

You drive me crazy, with your orders
I just want to do whats best for me
I want to kill, all your sceptics
The time will come I'll show you my success
but if you want to change me, there is no way
You better not try to silence a psychopath

By Terminal Choice

Morbid Morgaine

This is me as BDSM Lady Morgaine on the local graveyard, with my Crowcat. As you can see, I've got hair at the sides of my head. I was too lazy to shave, heh!

The Terminatrix

I like to be bodypainted. I've been choreographer for a Bodypaint theatre for some years. This paint was done by a friend and the pic is by VampiX.

Faust en Mikey

When I took this picture Faust was ill, he was operated (to remove a tumor). After the operation he was not feeling very well. My kitten Mikey somehow felt pity for Faust and crawled up against him to comfort him. Now they are best friends.

Jochy en Faust

To Asarial

I invoke thee, oh Asarial,
Archangel of Neptune
And ruler of clairvoyant powers.
I ask thee now to open my third eye
And show me the hidden light.
Let me see the future.
Let me see the past.
Let me perceive the Divine
Kingdoms of the unknown.
Let me understand the wisdom
Of the mighty universe.
So mote it be!

Behind the Veil

Now we're walking down
narrow dusty grimy streets
A crooked hinged door
A sigil carved
in the decaying wood
The sigil of the Styx

Stygia's emptyness
and the buzz in my brains
tells me:
"Still life! Still life
Here!"
Dancing Wraiths in the Mist
Raising doomed faces
Fragile transparent hands
Lead me...

Their hollow eyes closed
Dancing
The Dance of the Styx

Cube

This picture was taken during a photoshoot for BokArt

Das Ich's Stefan

Hoe kom je aan twee lijkkisten?: De eerste is van tropisch hardhout en is van mijn man. Deze kist komt uit voormalig Yugoslavie en heeft een tijdlang met een lading andere kisten op Schiphol bij de douane gestaan.

De kist was eerst als wasmand in gebruik bij een bekende van Dagon. Vervolgens kreeg Dagon hem en die vond het wel een beetje een macaber idee om erin te gaan slapen...Tot ik in zijn leven kwam, ik was meteen verliefd op Dagon EN kist en was er niet meer uit te slaan. Het slaapt heerlijk.

De tweede kist die we hebben is van mij, een kleinere kist op mijn maat. Hij werd bij ons boven gebracht door een doodgraverskennis compleet met lijkenwagen. De buren keken nogal raar toen dat ding naar boven ging moet ik zeggen. Binnen hebben we de kist opengeschroefd; het was een reiskist geweest voor een jongen die met snowboarden van de berg was gelazerd waardoor zijn kop tot pulp was vermalen. In de kist zat een aluminium binnenkist (om het te vervoeren lijk beter in te kapselen) en daaruit kwam een bodybag die we in alle nieuwsgierigheid openden... Laat ik zeggen, ik weet nu hoe gesplutterde hersenpulp eruit ziet.

Deze kist heeft een heel lief luikje met sleuteltje op hoofdhoogte. Helaas kon ik er nog niet meteen in slapen door de stank van de Febreze luchtverfrisser die in de kist had gezeten. Maar waar een wil is is een weg...en wierook+patchouli. Hij stinkt nu allang niet meer, en ligt heerlijk.

De mensen die bij ons in de kisten hebben geslapen geven allemaal als commentaar:"Ik heb in geen tijden zo vast geslapen en superheftig gedroomd." We hebben hier zelfs een Kistkraker: Caileigh komt regelmatig hier logeren en ze bezet dan meteen de kist. Erg grappig als je haar hoofd 's ochtends slaperig over de kistrand heen ziet piepen.....

Fantasieloze mensen kunnen ons voor gek verklaren, maar dat gaat geheel langs ons heen. We zijn nou eenmaal de Sanguinarean Freaks die thuishoren bij de Kamikaze Freakshow. En waarom we er in slapen? Niet omdat Vampiers dat allemaal zouden doen. Nee, een lijkkist is een kunstwerkje wat bedoeld is voor de laatste rite, het concept "kist in je huis" geeft een extra dimensie aan de inrichting en aan je leven. Bovendien vind ik het wel prettig om te weten in wat voor kist ik begraven wil worden, dus heb ik hem al. Als ik er niet in lig te slapen, lig ik er comics in te lezen, of Caileigh en ik zitten allebei aan een kant van de kist een jointje te delen. Als het deksel van Dagons zwarte kist dicht is, gebruik ik hem als altaar voor mijn rituelen. Het slapen in de kist is HEERLIJK!!! Je rolt je er lekker in op en hebt een heel veilig baarmoedergevoel. Pluspunt: ik donder nogaleens heftig dromend uit bed, als ik in de kist lig kan dat dus niet meer gebeuren.

Black, blue, purple

A picture from my act Who's afraid of black blue and purple.

Aufprall

Der Himmel zieht, die Liebe fliegt.
Der Ochs der starrt, der Wind mich narrt
Die Welt ist schlecht, d'rum durchgezecht
Ein Flügel fliegt, ein Maler siegt
Und der streicht braun nicht nur den Zaun
Ein Engel lacht, der Teufel weint,
Hat nichts gemacht, nur mich verneint.
Die Arbeit drückt, ist nicht entzückt
Was sie jetzt sieht, d'rum mich bekniet
"Mach Schluss damit, die Welt ist schlecht,
Ein Teufelsritt auf schwachem Knecht."
In gro sser Hast der Tod mich fasst
War fast schon weg in dunkler Nacht,
Die Erde bebt, die Frau entschwebt.
Doch nichtsdotrotz, mit Schmuck und Protz
Viel Eindruck mach am Höllentag.
Der Schnitter schreit, ich mach mich breit
und flieh hinweg zu einem Zweck
Das Leben lebt, das Mädchen webt
Die neue Welt, die mir gefällt

-by Calva y Nada-

Goddess

Cecilie Laban/Moliate

My voices tell me
to carve myself
My voices tell me
to trust no one
My voices tell me
to exterminate

Revenge, Schizo!
Justice, revenge!
Dissect my enemy
Torture on the rack
Send him to Oblivion

Scalpels flashing
Wide open slashes
With the Crimson
Let their sins flow

Revenge, Schizo!
Justice and revenge!
Right now!!!

For those who want
the truth revealed,
open hearts and
secrets unsealed,
from now until
it's now again
after which
the memory ends
for those who
are now in this house
shall hear the truth
from their own mouths

Bored!!!

This picture was taken by VampiX when I had to promote my act "Who's afraid of black, blue and purple?" At that time I had my whole head shaven,except for the weaves.

To see the Unseen

In this 'tween time, this Darkest hour
I call upon the Sacred Power
I myself stand alone
command the Unseen to be shown
In innocence I search the skies,
enchanted are my new found eyes

Terp

Partyboy

Chinookje was my first kitty. She was a young straycat and when I found her it rained cats and dogs, and the poor thing was soaked. But I couldn't take her home that moment, because I had to teach a Jazzdance class. So when I finished the class, I hoped that I would see her again, and yes, I was lucky. She let me pick her up and I walked home 45 minutes, with a soaked kitty in my jacket. When I arrived at home, she looked around, curled up in front of the heater and fell asleep. Chinook was a very special cat. Too bad she died last year...I buried her in the park where my other lost kitties rest.

Mikey, actually Michael (named after the Angel), is weird...Here he's sleeping in Fausts drinkingbowl. Both his parents (Ghost and Gabriel) are shorthaired, but Mikey has a long fluffy fur and a "Plouff"-tail.

This is again a Vampix pic from me in a squatterhouse which was centuries ago a convent for nuns. The place was haunted, goosebumps all over my skin.

Bodhi and me

This pic was taken during a shooting for Bodhi's new videoclip. I was an SM Priestess in the clip. Later I danced (modern dance, ghostdancing)during his concerts. Bodhi is a great guy, he's inspired, wants to leave a message to this world with his songs.